Withholding Sex: Don’t Deny Me Love

by Stephanie L. Williams

I chose this topic today because the words deny and love seems to walk hand and hand now days. Many women when mad at their husbands (I did not say boyfriend and girlfriend) will withhold sex from their mate. And many men when mad at their wives will withhold affection from their mates.  This is not right and it is not of God. When two people join together in marriage the bible says in 1 Corinthians 7:1-6 speaks of advice to married couples. Paul stated clearly in the verses that 1) When you marry you both belong to each other and no longer owners of your own body.  2) That both man and wife have to render unto each other good will and kindness. 3) You can not deny your spouse reasonable pleasures unless you are in a time of fasting and praying. I also see this during a time of illness that would keep you from rendering and participating in coming together with your spouse. He also stated in verse 6 that he speaks this in permission and not a commandment.

Men you can’t demand your wife to have sex with you when you want it done and how you want it done. The marriage bed is undefiled but if the two of you are not in agreement how can you both walk together or in this case love together? You also can’t deny affection from her because you’re not getting the type of love you want.

Women you can’t tell the man you’re not giving him any because he made you mad or did something you didn’t like. You can’t deny him from uniting with you and he can’t do the same to you either.

Coming together in love or lovemaking is how husbands and wife reconnect. This is how communication barriers are broken down and the walls are torn down and they two of you are at your most vulnerable moment when you have to submit to one another. Loving each other is unconditional and the matters of the bedroom should not have conditions on it. Truth is when you deny each other love you allow the enemy to come in and present to each of you something you both long for. Men sometimes it is in the form of another woman who is willing to do what you want your wife to do but she doesn’t.  Women it is in the form of a man who is willing to give you the attention, affection, and sometimes communication you long from your mate but can’t receive. Don’t allow the enemy to be the center of your marriage. God is love and if you two love each other as you proclaim, then God should be the focal point of your marriage. God honors marriage and He wants married couples to come together as often as you can.

My favorite scripture when I think of marriage is Ecclesiastes 4:8-12. I admonish each of you to read these scriptures. A bond between you, your spouse and God should not and can not be easily broken unless one of you removes yourself from that 3-fold cord.

Stephanie L Williams is the author of “Take me as I am” and “Finding Eve…but, where is Adam”. She is the mother of 2 boys, a minister of the gospel, and business owner. She loves to minister love to people and stand on the verse of Jeremiah 33:3 “Call unto me and I will answer thee, and shew thee great and mighty things, which though knowest not.” You can visit Stephanie via her website at www.StephanieLWilliams.com.

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