by Cheryl Carr
In intimate relationships it is important to measure and gauge correctly what you’re giving in relation to what you are receiving. Not looking for equality, you would do well to search for identically or risk deception and ultimately rejection. What I mean is, the person you’re dishing all that emotion, possessions, conversation, time and physicality on…are you getting same/similar in return or are you on the draining giving end? Breaking boundaries, refusing to RECEIVE love in proportion to what we give out is a fallacy and relationship mistake many of us make…especially us women who are naturally wired as responders. We will shut off our natural predisposition to take a “seed” if you will (going back to the list of emotion, possessions, conversation, time and physicality) and produce after its kind. We fully ignore the mandate that the male is responsible for sowing the seed, we are responsible for implanting, nurturing and growing the seed into a living, breathing organism. That entire natural process applies to the less tangible of relationship ( I love how organized and structured God is…being a God of order, you can always consistently see His process, principles and procedures no matter what you apply them to).
In ignoring our natural predisposition we women neglect our males need to GIVE, to HUNT, TO PURSUE, to SUBDUE and OBTAIN us. So, we give ourselves in disrespect of these natural things to our detriment. Look, this is not that deep. What I am trying to teach you is to esteem yourself as high as you esteem others. Do not give yourself away in pieces especially when who you’re giving those pieces to doesn’t deserve it. And never will. Real love, God’s 1 Corinthians 13 love is not a distorted, dysfunctional give only love. The love we are to give and receive has expectations, qualifications and standards of operation. Reciprocity is one of the most important in INTIMATE relationships. So, do a check up today on your intimate relationships. Check for giving and receiving. If you’re unbalanced work to right that ship today. If you’re over-functioning and giving too much of yourself, pull back and put up some boundaries and extend some expectations, not necessarily spoken.
You may do better to SHOW someone as opposed to say to someone what you will or won’t accept any longer. Just stop (which means to cease all motion) putting yourself out there like that and watch for their response. They’re either going to come after you to find the matter, which you can then lovingly state “I’m expecting more of you, myself and this love relationship” or they will disappear which is all too telling of the fact that they were really only there for what they were getting/receiving from you. I pray the law of reciprocity takes a hold of your heart and intimate relationship today so that it may grow and blossom or disappear to make room for the real love you deserve!
Cheryl Carr is the founder of Arete1 International, a communications firm that incorporates CONFIDENCE. CHANGE. CALM PROGRAMS ™ for busy celebrity executives and writers, and is a speaker, writer, trainer, coach— Cheryl’s life focuses on being a powerful and motivating expert in leadership, emerging media and networking through her ministry and company ARETE1 International. She resides in Irving, Texas where she is completing her PhD.
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